Living In a “Man Up” World

Welcome to He Said » She Said.  My friend and business colleague, Phil Ayoub, tackle the term “Man Up” and give our review of ABC’s new television show, Man Up.  We could have gone back and forth for hours on these questions… However, we will be discussing the “Man Up” culture (in-depth) during this Friday’s episode of Single MENtality.  Join our conversation!  What are your thoughts on the phrase “Man Up” or ABC’s new television show?

What does the phrase “Man Up” mean to you?

Phil: To not take an easy way out.  To step up and tackle something difficult and something that you’re tempted to shy away from or back off from doing.

Nicole: In my opinion, the connotation of this phrase means: do-the-right-thing, be strong, be accountable, be honorable, be bold, be brave, etc.

Why has the phrase “Man Up” become so cliché over the past decade?

Phil: I think like most clichés it’s just such an easy thing to say that it catches on fast.

Nicole: I think the definition of manhood and what it means to be a man has shifted over the past 10 – 20 years.  I believe this phrase has become ubiquitous because certain men know they need to step up and not be so passive.  I also think men like to “check” each other’s manhood with this phrase.  Not too mention, it sounds better than calling your buddy a “pussy”.

Do you think men in 2011 need to “Man Up” or has Hollywood perpetuated this notion?

Phil: The issue here is not with Hollywood, it’s with the viewing public.  Often times society can’t tell the difference between entertainment and reality (come on, reality TV!), so they see men acting in a certain way on TV or in movies and they assume that’s the way most men are in real life.  Society runs with it and people are convinced that men aren’t MEN anymore, as we have seen from the countless articles written (by women) on the subject.  They don’t realize (or they don’t want to realize) that it’s ENTERTAINMENT!  Responsible people are not funny.  They’re not entertaining.  Therefore you find less of them in movies and television.  Would anyone have watched Married…with Children if Al Bundy was a normal, good husband?  If Hollywood has perpetuated the notion of men needing to “man up” it’s for entertainment (and essentially money-making) purposes.  Much of society doesn’t bother to recognize that though, and just allows themselves to think that it represents a problem with today’s man.

Nicole: Outstanding point, Phil; however, I feel it is both society and Hollywood.  I believe since the Feminist movement, certain men (not all men) have become passive, immature, and incompetent.  The rise of women has perpetuated passivity and apprehension in certain men.  What Hollywood has done is pick up on this trend, i.e. Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Pineapple Express, Super Bad, The Hangover, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and I Love You, Man – just to name a few movies..

Why is there not a female equivalent to the phrase “Man Up”?

Phil: I don’t know.  Is it:…because stereotypically men are expected to handle more difficult tasks?…because men typically have to be convinced to step up and handle them?…because women always step up anyway and don’t need to be reminded to not take the easy way out?…or something else?  I’m wondering why women haven’t taken offense to this phrase.  Doesn’t it imply that stepping up to do something difficult is a man’s job and not a woman’s?

Nicole: The reason why women would never say to each other, “woman up” or “take your breasts out of your briefcase” is because of human biology and deep rooted gender roles.  Phil, you are correct; men are CONSTANTLY expected to rise to the occasion to handle a myriad of tasks. I think this is unfair. I believe society should hold men and women equally as accountable.  That said, because of biology and established gender roles, men and women will always be held accountable in different ways… And Phil, the reason why I don’t take offense to this phrase is because of biological differences, gender differences, and the fact that the phrase is about manhood not womanhood.

What do you think of the new ABC TV show Man Up?

Phil: Hysterical! This could be my new favorite show, since I’ve kind of lost touch with How I Met Your Mother and for some stupid unknown reason Cougar Town is off the air (!).  The thing I wonder about this show is how funny is it to women?  It’s certainly my kind of humor (guy humor, but clever and not dumbed down) and definitely relatable to me as a man, but is it relatable to women?  I kind of felt the same way recently about the movie Hall Pass.  It’s funny to me because I saw myself (or guys I knew) acting that way and could relate to it.  I don’t think you can make a connection from the show to real life, though, especially since Man Up probably has that name because it’s a catchy title for a show that focuses around three guys.  (As an aside: I also love the fact that the guys on the show love Big Momma’s House, which is one of the most underrated films of our generation).

Nicole: Ridiculous!  I’ve seen two episodes; it was beyond painful!!  Phil, I can’t believe you like this show… If I were a man, I would be horrified that ABC actually put this show on the air!  ABC’s Man Up portrays men as infantile, incapable, uncultured, weak, pathetic, and flat out moronic (I could go on, but I’ll stop here).  Phil, I will agree with you on this:  Big Momma’s House was a riot and Cougar Town was fantastic!  Perhaps ABC will pull Man Up and replace it with Cougar Town…

What current shows on television portray men as honorable, responsible, capable, etc.?

Phil: I’m actually the last person who should answer this question, because I really don’t watch a lot of TV.  Nicole?

Nicole: In 2011, I don’t think there are a significant number of television shows that portray men in a manner worthy of emulation.  Currently, programs in the medical, legal, and criminal justice genre showcase certain men as honorable and capable.  Interestingly enough, programming in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s ALWAYS showed men, specifically fathers, in a favorable fashion.  The television shows that stand out in my mind are: Leave It to Beaver, My Three Sons, Lassie, Happy Days, Little House on the Prairie, Different Strokes, Good Times, The Brady Bunch, and The Cosby Show (just to name a few).  Even the cartoons of those decades portrayed men as bold and substantive.  I learned a lot from Papa Smurf!  Here’s what I find tremendously unfortunate – Hollywood has started writing and producing content which depicts men as ridiculous and as people who should not be taken seriously.  Once again, if I were a man, I would be horrified…  There are millions of men who are honorable, responsible and capable, etc.  I wish media outlets would celebrate this fact…  I would like to say this to the executives at ABC:  Men deserve better.